Our Nest is Minus One.

A little over a week ago one of my twenty-something’s flew the coop and went out to conquer the world all on her own.  Hilary has lived away from home before, but this time she’s striking out on her own to live the independent life.  I’m a little worried about her (because that’s what I do), because of her seizure in February.  But when you have kids with chronic conditions you have to let them go, let them learn to be their own person, and let them find their independence.   Just like all of your other kids.

The way the family dynamic has changed with the kids moving out on their own is not something I had really ever contemplated too much.  I knew it would happen someday, one day; way, way, way down the road.  And now suddenly here it is staring right at me.  When you are in the throes of raising your kids, and working full-time you don’t always have a lot of time to ponder these thoughts.  If you’re like I was, you would put your nose to the grind stone, get everyone where they needed to be on time, and then you moved on to the next day.

Now,  with only one of the birdies left at home it is sometimes, slightly strange getting used to the quiet, calm, and peacefulness of the household.  I can remember the times when we would be having dinner, going to someone’s school event,  getting homework done, and then getting ready for the next day.  It could definitely be a tiring grind, but in the end, as a parent, always rewarding in one way or another.

It seems as if I am rambling on here, mixing new experiences with old memories.  I think the new experiences bring some of the old memories back to life momentarily.  At least that’s what happens in my head.

I can remember back to a few conversations Travel Man and I had when the kids were all in high school.  We would talk about one day, someday having the house all to ourselves.  At the time we had those conversations it seemed like those years were a million miles away.  And it’s funny now that, that time is right in front of us it seems like our time with all kids with us under the same roof,  through all of the ups and downs, was so short.  Here and gone in the blink of an eye.  That is such an irony for me.  Just a crazy, crazy irony.

Entering this new phase of life has been interesting for me.  It’s been a learning experience for me to let the kids go, and do and be.  I always, always wanted each of them to be independent spirits, and successfully find their way in the world.  But I have to admit that letting go of the “mom cord”  can be very difficult.  I am doing it though.  I’m working on getting back to some old hobbies that had been neglected, and discovering new hobbies.  It’s a whole new world for me.  A new world at home, and a new dynamic added to the relationship with the kiddies that have flown the coop.

One thing is for certain though, the love you have for your kids never, ever fades.  They may think that it wanes occasionally, but it never does.  It is and always will be unconditional.  Nothing stands in the way of a Mother’s love for her children, no matter how old they are.

4 comments

  1. Joan Weise says:

    You got that right!…your Mom 🙂

  2. Lynn Feichtner says:

    Beautifully expressed and written, Renee……and, oh so true!!! When I was abruptly left with no husband, my last child also moved out of the house, and I was totally alone! It was devastating for me (your mom and dad can attest). But, somehow, God gives us the inner strength to carry on. Then, magically, we finally have the time to learn who we, ourselves, truly are. New challenges and interests come into our lives, and we slowly start to breathe again.

    One of the most rewarding lessons I learned while healing from “empty nest syndrome” was that to keep your children close, you have to let them go. I see parts of myself in each of them, now….the weaknesses and the strengths…..and I am proud of whom we have become!

    I wish Hilly all of the best in her new journey. Not to worry, mom…….sleep easy, and know that you have taught her well!!

    Lynn

    • Oh Lynn – thanks for sharing your story. It truly touched my heart. I’m a newbie at this so I have a lot to learn. I’m counting on all of you seasoned “empty nesters” to help me along the way. So glad you stopped by for a visit. Hugs to you!

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